The Take's over the Break's over
by AliciaInWonderland
Summary: The Takers are reunited after several years and Olivia the only female member is standing between two men: the one she truly loves and the one that makes her heart stop
1. I'm in love with my own sins

John hung up the phone when Olivia entered the room. She had just got up and was rubbing her eyes while yawning. When she saw the look on John's face she went to sit next to him on the couch and put her legs casually on his lap.

« What is it ? Bad news ? », she stroke his cheek lightly to which he didn't react, seemed to bel ost in his thoughts. « John ? », he shook his head as to dismiss a silly idea : « G. just called », he paused, took a deep breath and went on : « He wanted to know if the both of us were ineterested in a job that involved the old crew », John looked at her, expecting some kind of awkward reaction but Olivia was quite indifferent : « Yeah sure why not ! Plus it would be great to see the others again », she grinned but John's look darkened, « Even A.J. ? What about him ? », « That was ages ago and I'm no longer that person and you should know that the best right ? » He cracked a little smile, « Sure thing babe, otherwise I don't think I could stand you », he joked bringing her to get up to straddle him. « I think you should be glad that I tolerate you Mister », she smiled before placing a kiss to his left temple which made John chuckle a little but she proceeded in turning him on with great acceptance coming from his side. Olivia felt that he wanted her bad as the kissing became heavier and more passionate and that's when she jumped up his lap and left him there speechless. « I'm gonna take a shower and I suggest you should get a cold one », she teased but John stood up and chased her into the bathroom.

As Olivia got dressed she felt kind of weird, a little nervous actually : seeing A.J. after such a long time seemed to be stressing her out a bit more than she would admitt –even to herself and there was no way she would show John any of that nervousness, she loved him very much, even though in a different way she had loved A.J. this was a sane relationship : she could always rely on John, they had fun together and he made her happy. With A.J. it was all about rushes, passion and fights that would have a destructive nature. Everything had to be extreme, just like both of them were at that time. Standing in front of her closet Olivia had not the slightest idea what to wear and that was nothing like her, she would always know what to wear and always look gorgeous. John came up behind her and kissed her neck « I love you Liv », he whispered gently into her ear where a wet strand of hair was tucked behind. She smiled without him noticing and pulled some close out of the closet.

They were the last to arrive but they looked fabulous together : John was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a black tie and Olivia had put on tight black leather pants, a vintage jeans vest over a white tank top, then a huge siver necklace and heels. Her long wavy light brown hair was pulled back only on one side. John hugged Gordon when they entered the appartement and one could definitely see that those two childhood friends had missed each other badly. After their last job together, Gordon had returned to England to take care of his sick father and John and him kind of lost touch. Jesse rose and walked toward Olivia, « Damn girl look at you », he kissed her on the cheek. « Take it easy Jesse », she laughed. « Had I known that you'd become this hot… », « Then what ? », John grinned as he reached out for Jesse and Olivia turned around to hug Gordon. « It's great to see you », she smiled when Jake tapped onto her shoulder, « What about me Liv, come into my arms babe », « Oh Jake I think I missed you the most », she whispered and gave him a wink. « Is that right ? », another familiar voice sounded behind her, causing her stomach to twist for a short instant before she turned around to look into those blue eyes. He looked handsome with his gray suit and the black hat and of course his natural bright grin that was across his face. In the corner of her eye Olivia saw John talking to Gordon, backs turned towards them. A.J. took a step closer and placed a kiss to her cheek that was actually a bit closer to the mouth than actually needed. She flinched lightly at his touch but he didn't notice it, luckily. « You look so different », he said stepping back to analyse her appearence. « I've changed », she said calmly yet determined. « Yeah, yeah », he whispered without taking his eyes off of her making her a bit uncomfortable. « So », he suddenly said, « How have you been ? » « Great, can't complain in the least, how about you ? You kinda look exhausted », she remarked, « Yeah well New York wasn't very kind to me ».

« So guys and Liv of course, would you care to join me in the dining room where I will elaborate the details of the upcoming job. They all rose and followed Gordon. « You could at least say ''hello'' to him », Liv hissed into John's ear, who chose to give her the ''not now'' look which made her angry because she felt like he was treating her like a child. Even though there was the slight age difference of eight years there was never a problem with that kind of matter. Olivia sat next to Jesse anda cross from John while A.J. was sitting next to John and Olivia knew him way to well to not realise he was doing it on purpose.

Gordon explained the entire plan that seemed easy in theory : robbing a new computer software from a company in order to sel lit to one of their adversaries, namely the one willing to pay the most. « So John and Jake you get us in, myself and Jesse ammo and transport and Liv and A.J. our dynamical hacker duo will deal with the technology stuff right ? » Everyone agreed. « Alright I think now we can continue with our brunch so knock yourselves out fellas », Gordon said and they all rose like the teacher had just dismissed the class on a hot Friday afternoon. Olivia grabbed a glass of champagne and went outside for some air. I twas bugging her that A.J. was still this irritating to her, after all this time she thought she might be immune against his everything. She took a sip and when the cold liquid ran down her throat she enjoyed a pure moment of silence and peace, that was suddenly destroyed by the sound of the opening glass door. Olivia flipped around only to look into A.J.'s grinning face, « Taking a break ? », « No… I'm just… I needed to breathe », « Oh my God would you focus for fuck's sake », she thought kicking herself mentally. « Yeah know the feeling », he said while lighting up his cigarette. « Oh sorry you want one », he held his packet towards her, « Yes… I mean no. I quit a year ago », she said hastily. « Really », he stretched the word like a rubber band, « You've definitely changed Frixie ». Olivia couldn't help herself but chuckle lighlty, « What is it ? », A.J. asked blowing out smoke and smiling, he couldn't resist her smiling, not back then not now. « It's just no one has called me that in like for ever, it's weird to hear it again ». A.J. looked at her, intensely, deeply and she knew he was up to something so she had to distract him somehow, « Gimme your cigarette », she said and when the smoke hit her lungs it was like something finding something she had been missing a very long time. « Wow ! », she exhaled. « Are you happy ? », A.J. asked out of the blue, « What do you mean ? », « With him ? », she couldn't believe he was asking that kind of question, « Straight to the point as always », she thought. « That's none of your business okay », A.J. saw John coming and took the cigarette out of her hand.

« A.J. man, long time no see, how you doin' ? », John asked friendly. « Absolutely great, I mean check out the view », Olivia took a sip to mask the smell of the cigarette but when John leaned in to kiss her she turned her head she couldn't risk him smelling it. A.J. couldn't help himself but crack a little smile which Olivia noticed. « You want anything to eat baby », John asked, « No I'm good I'll join you in a minute », she replied and as soon as she was alone again with A.J. on that balcony she started to make things clear : « Listen I 'm in love with him and I'm not gonna throw that away just because you're back in town ! This is just work nothing more nothing less you get that ? », she was slightly enraged but she managed to keep her temper down. « If you say so », A.J. replied casually before heading back inside.

* * *

**A/N I do not own any of the characters from the movie "Takers"**


	2. We don't fight fair

Olivia was almost asleep when she felt John snuck up behind her but she chose to keep her eyes closed, feeling kind of exhausted. ''You smell fantastic'', John breathed softly into her ear and she moaned sleeply. As he hugged her from behind she felt absolutelty protected and was ready to fall asleep when he coughed slightly, ''Was it akward to see him today ? '', he asked and her eyes popped open, the slightest feeling of tiredness blown away,''What do you mean ? '', she didn't know where this was going to, ''I mean you did talk to him for some time right ? '', Olivia got the hint but she didn't turn around, '' It was nothing we just talked, just two old friends catching up'', she knew she was lying but nothing had happened, he had just looked at her with his blue eyes and the grin that wouldn't leave his face and for a short instant she felt 19 again but that was it, she knew that he was trouble and she had managed to stay almost perfectly calm so why bother John with this. He kissed her neck, because he knew she couldn't resist that and he was right, Olivia turned around facing him and she realised she had everything she needed right there. John smiled softly when she leaned in to kiss him.

The following evening they arrived at Jake's club, which was already bursting. They all walked up as the long lost unity they used to be the only thing that had changed was Olivia's position. Jake greeted them joyfully and his fiance Lily smiled gladly. Olivia hugged her tightly, she had always liked her being one of the funniest women she had ever met. ''Wow Liv you need to let me borrow that dress'', she complimented and Olivia naturally blushed a little. ''Jake told me you're with John now'',she said seriously, ''How's that working for you'', Olivia turned around to look at John who was smiling and,when he realised they were watching him, he winked playfully. ''He's amazing, the most lovely man I've ever met and in between the sheets he is very talented too'', she joked. ''That's one of the most important things, right on sister'', Lily laughed and then her face turned serious again, ''And what about…'', ''A.J. you mean right ? I don't mind seeing him, it's just kinda odd you know ? '', Lily nodded and suddenly a familiar song sounded from the piano and both of them checked out where it was coming from : A.J. was doing his usual number and it still sounded absolutely great until he started playing a song he used to refer to as ''their '' song and Olivia felt the anger rise inside of her. She took a deep breath, he was so cocky to play that song right in front of everybody. ''I'm gonna get a drink'', she whispered to Lily and walked towards the bar. ''Gin please ? '', John walked up behind her turning her around and kissing her passionately. She enjoyed it perfectly but in the back of her head she hoped that A.J. was watching and that he would understand finally that he had to back off. ''Let's go upstairs, shall we ? '', Jake suggested and Olivia was glad for the change of location. On the second floor there weren't as many people but the room was still very crowded. The music was calming her down and Olivia reached up to John's ear and whispered, ''You look so handsome tonight I could devour you right here and now'', ''Oh please Liv, you're gonna make me blush'', he joked and reached a little down to kiss her once more and she put her arms around his neck and they started dancing slowly, very closely and they both couldn't stop smiling until Lily arrived and nudged John lightly, ''John-Boy, haven't seen you in forever'', he kissed her hand, '' Would you mind dancing with me pretty ? '', '' Sure thing, I'll be right back baby'', Olivia nodded, ''Yeah take your time''. Olivia took a sip of her gin and started to observe the crowd, they all seemed to have lots of fun, everyone was dancing laughing just enjoying themselves and even though she was standing there alone she felt completely at ease, she needed some instants to herself sometimes to just be silent. ''All by yourself Frixie ? '' A.J. had found her and had no intention to let her out of his sight. She didn't look at him first, ''So it appears'', she said dryly and she hurt the sound of his lighter and she knew she wanted a cigarrette badly. ''Did you have to play that song ? '', she asked turning towards him, ''What song ? '', he asked sheepishly. ''Don't try to fool me you know I knew you better sometimes than yourself'', she said seriously and his face darkened for his standards, ''I thought you might like to hear that song you always loved it'', he explained, ''I guess I was wrong then'', he emptied his drink in one sip, ''Care to dance ? '', Olivia frowned, ''Come on for old time's sake, I promise I won't grab your ass'', she laughed out loudly, causing him too to smile, he could still manage to make her laugh so she agreed to one dance. Olivia grabbed the hand he had stretched out and they went for the dancefloot and like a bad twist of fate the music changed into something a lot slower, ''Of course'', she whispered barely audible but he stilll caught it. ''What is it ? '', ''Nothing '', she answered and they started dancing. Olivia avoided to look at him, she glanced at her feet, past his right shoulder and then his left. ''Excuse me ? I asked for a dance not what you're doing right now'', he said and she could hear the irritation in his voice. She looked into his face and wasn't prepared for the look on it, he just smiled his casual, natural, perfectly knee weakening smile and she felt her heart throbbing against her chest. ''What ? '', she asked a little uncomfortable, '' Nothing ! I just like that song'', he answered without taking hi seyes off of her. ''I bet you do'', she breathed. They kept on dancing a little too close than actually needed but she couldn't really focus. ''It's really amazing to see your face again Frixie'', Olivia looked at him disbelievingly, ''Don't start this, I told you I don't wanna hear any of those things, A.J. you know it's for the best, the two of us together is just… it just… I can't do it anymore'', he let his hand glide down her back gently causing her to shiver lightly and then he pulled her close to his chest and she felt the steady rhythm of his heart, he was absolutely calm no sign of nervousness and that's when she realised he must be feeling her heart thumping. ''Your heart'', he said with a little astonishment in his voice, ''I know'', she breathed. He enjoyed the fact that he had still this much impact on her but not in a negative way he was glad the feelings she had for him seemed to be there somewhere hidden inside her. He took a liitle step away from her and reached down to her ear : ''Meet me behind those curtains in five minutes I need to talk to you'', he whispered and left her on the dancefloor without the opportunity of saying no. Gordon showed up, '' You've seen John'', he asked while looking around so he didn't notice Olivia's state. ''Ehm… He was dancing with Lily but I don't know where he went'', she said absently that's when he took a look at her, ''You're alright darling'', she didn't react immediately but came to her senses, ''Yeah don't worry I'm good I'm gonna head to the ladiesroom, if you see John tell him I'm looking for him'',she said and turned around. Olivia didn't know what was going on, she felt confused qs she opened the door to the bathroom and put her hands onto the sink. She didn't dare to look up into the mirror but when she finally did the person looking back at her seemed strange: She didn't want to hurt John but there was something pulling her towards A.J. and it drove her mad. Olivia took a deep breath, fixed her make up and walked out to meet him after all she could listen to what he wanted to tell her and if he made some kind of false move she could still kick him. She stood in front of the curtains not knowing what to expect when a hand pulled her backwards. "What do you want?",she asked confused but A.J. wouldn't bother giving any explanation he just pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. At first she had the urge to get away but when their lips met she couldn't help herself and gave in.

Olivia pulled her dress back down when they were done and A. down to get his hat she had thrown off his head minutes ago and when he got up he lightly touched her leg but she wasn't in the mood for any of his touches. "How's my hair?", was the only thing she could say at that point and he grinned, "You look like you've just been screwed", but there was no way she would laugh at that point,"Stop that if John finds out", "Right John", he whispered. "This was just for fun okay you're the one who taught me that", she said not even believing her own lie and hoping he wouldn't realise she was bluffing. "I taught you well then", he answered striking her cheek softly when Jake pulled back the thick purple curtains.


	3. Make your heart swell and burst

Olivia was frozen in shock, of course she would be caught, what the hell was she thinking, screwing around in Jake's club, was she out of her mind or just plain crazy ? Luckily Jake had closed the curtain immediately but with the most sinister look on he's face. She didn't know what to say or what to do, her heart beating fastly and the thick lump in her throat pulsating. Even A.J. was quiet, one of the only times he managed to stay silent. Olivia put on her left shoe and ran left him behind in their sinful hide-out. She immediately saw John talking to Jake put their faces weren't angry or anything, she couldn't believe he hadn't immediately told John of his discovery but nevertheless her entire body was shaking when she moved towards them. "Hey baby there you are", he smiled. "So Jake hasn't told him", she thought and let out a deep breath of relief even though she was feeling utterly guilty.

The next day a meeting was set to sort out the last details of their upcoming job and this time they were meeting at John's place. Olivia woke up due to the sun that was shining in her face and as soon as she opened her eyes the sick feeling in her stomach from yesterday evening was back and the sensation of A.J.'s touch made her twist and turn on the inside. She still wasn't sure what had gotten into her, maybe temporary insanity, she shook her head while thinking of the horrible mistake she had made only a few hours earlier, a mistake that had felt so right at that moment and so wrong as soon as her head started working again. She hadn't dared to look John into the eye and told him she would stay at her house because she didn't feel well and didn't want him to get sick too and he had, believed her, of course he did he loved her too much to think of her as this cheating person she was and she hated herself so much for toying with him this way. Olivia hadn't slept in her apartment in ages, she didn't feel at home their anymore even though her entire stuff was there, with John she felt like they were a little family of their own. Even when they fought she wouldn't leave she'd stay with him and mostly they made up very fastly. They would fight, throw some stuff at each other no one really meant and she would always apologize because she couldn't stand him being mad at her. John would then play a little with her and pout for some time until he would take her out for a ride to places she had never been and they would stay there for hours talking. Their little make it up trips where always worth the fight she thought secretly but deep down inside her she knew that if he ever found out about A.J. there would be no place far enough for them to drive to, in order to forget about it. She dragged herself out of the bed and into her bathroom, the upcoming meeting wasn't exactly something she was looking forward to. Olivia looked into the mirror and in front of her inner eye she saw A.J. grabbing her pushing her against the wall, kissing her and at that thought she shook her head once more but the feeling wouldn't go away, the guilt paired with a little thrill and fascination combined with the sickening sensation in her stomach. She had to keep it together, they were about to start a job and that stuff couldn't be near that. "Focus for fuck's sake", she said to her reflection before putting on some clothes.

Olivia was the first to arrive but that had been her intention, she didn't want A.J. to know that she hadn't slept at John's place. She had gotten him a little toy car and when he opened the door she didn't say anything she just held it up. "Okay ! ", he laughed, "What have you done ? ", he got the hint and was a little suspicious to why she was showing up with that "gift". She didn't say anything she just stepped in and hugged him tightly, smelling his perfect scent. "I just want to take a trip, maybe after the meeting ? ", she whispered,her voice barely audible. "What is the matter with you ? Is there something wrong ? ", John's asked worried. "Nothing… it's fine…but we could take a ride later couldn't we ? ". John looked at her disbelievingly, "I got some important stuff to deal with baby and I just can't "take a ride", now ! Come on we're preparing a major heist". Olivia was astounded by his words but that was the thing with John, as soon as it was about work, nothing else mattered, the job always came first. It hadn't bothered her in the past because they had never worked together while being with each other. "Oh okay ! I know, where was my mind ? ", she said sarcastically but he was already going over some blueprints. Olivia was relieved to some extent that he was consumed with work and wouldn't realise how weird she would be acting around him and after the job the guilt would probably be not this bad anymore. She took a deep breath and made herself some coffee. "You want some ? ", she asked John who was sitting at the table, eyes narrowed just grunting "mmh". "That's gonna be fun", she said to herself. When she brought him the cup he looked up and smiled : "Thanks. ", the smile soothed her and she kissed him to his cheek before going out to the pool.

Olivia opened the door, John and Jake hadn't heard the doorbell, they were discussing heavily. And once more fate was playing tricks on her because on the other side of the door were Jesse and A.J. both grinning. "Hey girl", Jesse gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before getting in, he was already late and Jake wouldn't be amused about that kind of behaviour. A.J. took a little step forward but she didn't move in the first place. He had his head a little bowed and then he looked up : "You gonna let me in ? We got some work to do ! ", he said seriously but his facade dropped immediately and he smiled widely at Olivia. She was totally tripping on the inside but she managed to take a step to the left and A.J. took of his head to thank her and pressed a light kiss to her nose before entering the house. Olivia had to hold back a little laugh : his entire appearance the way he acted, so carefree, she couldn't help herself but laugh at the fact that he could be so calm when he was in as much trouble as she was. It wasn't a pleasant laugh it was filled with disbelief and remorse. She went back into the living room only to meet another of Jake's obscure looks and she raised her eyebrows to let him know that she wasn't fooling around anymore, nevertheless she had to talk to Jake under all circumstances. "Liv ? ", A.J.'s voice sounded in her ears, she had been a little absent. "Yeah ? What ? ", she asked puzzled. "I thought we should start trying to break down the security system, I brought one similar to the one of the company", A.J. explained and as soon as she looked at him she had the images back in her head and her heart was thumping again. Olivia closed her eyes and dismissed the thought. "Oh… yeah sure, let's do it. "

They all took a break after two hours and Olivia was stunned how little she had thought about her escapade, working with A.J. just felt comfy, like old times and she had missed it more than she would have guessed not for him but for the sake of working. Jake was alone in the kitchen, there wouldn't be a better occasion she thought and walked towards him.

"So… about yesterday", she begun with an uneasy feeling. "I suppose you think I'm a bitch but…". Jake shook his head : "Listen the only reason I didn't tell John is that I think you're normally an honest person and because I believe that this won't happen again. " Olivia felt the lump in her throat fading : "It won't happen again I swear ! I don't know what's wrong with me but I can assure you that I feel awful and that nothing like that will ever happen again ! ", she sputtered. "Thanks Jake you don't know how much I appreciate it", she smiled crookedly. "I'm watching you", he just said before heading back to the others. Olivia was experiencing a sensation of relief she had never thought it would be possible to feel. She had gotten a second chance and there was no way she was blowing that. "He didn't tell John I take it ? ", A.J. whispered when she sat next to him. "Shut up ! Not here ! ", she hissed even though no one of the others were around. "We need to talk ! ", he went on and she couldn't believe him. "You know what ? We'll talk but I'm gonna choose the place and you're gonna listen until I'm done ! Let me tell you just one thing : nothing like yesterday will ever happen again ! ", she said angrily. "I know that Frixie but we can always talk right ? ", he smiled and stroke her arm gently but she shook it off. "Stop it ! I mean it ! Meet me tonight at my place then we can get over with this entire situation".


	4. With smiles on our faces

They had all left and Olivia was cleaning up a little, thinking about her get-together with A.J. and how she would handle that situation. John was still going over some documents not paying much attention to her. ''I'm gonna head to my place'', she said grabbing her purse. ''Hmm'', John agreed but as she prepared to leave, bugged that he cared more about anything but her, he ran towards her.''I thought you were gonna sleep over tonight, you're feeling better right'', he pulled her towards him and looked deeply into her eyes, grinning lightly. ''Uhm… yeah… I mean, I just need something from my place'', she stammered mildly, thinking about anything she might be needing and that justified her leaving. ''I forgot my phone this morning'', Olivia improvised. ''Oh, ok but you're coming back right ? I missed you yesterday'', John whispered teasingly but Olivia wasn't sure what to answer, the pressure of talking to A.J. soon and keeping things from John was suffocating her. ''I'm kinda tired but in case I wouldn't come back I'm gonna call you ok baby ? '', she reached up to kiss him on the cheek but he held on to her pressing a passionate kiss to her lips and it felt good, almost too good to leave him but she had to clear things up with A.J. for her own and John's sake because A.J. wouldn't let her go if she refused to talk to him. Olivia hugged John tightly before leaving and he had the weird sensation it was like some kind of goodbye but dismissed that thought immediately to focus on the work again.

As Olivia unlocked her door, the familiar smell of paint got to her, even though she hadn't been painting in an eternity it seemed to her. She dropped her purse at the threshold and walked across the small living room towards the window, her favourite spot if she needed inspiration or just a few moments to think quietly. The last days had been way too moving for her, A.J. being back, the crew back together, her infidelity, everything was gliding out of her hands and she needed to take back control, she was no longer that person that would agree to everything and having decisions made for her. The knocking ripped her out of her thoughts and the weak feeling in her stomach was back again as she took a deep breath to banish it. She reached for the doorknob with trembling fingers but on the other side of the door wasn't the face she expected but an enormous bunch of bluish lilacs that smelled fantastically. Olivia couldn't hide her delight over her favourite flowers and smiled widely. ''Surprise ! '', A.J.'s head appeared behind the blossoms and to his joy she was obviously pleased. ''You didn't need to bring me flowers'', she told him but he immediately interrupted her : ''Maybe I didn't need to but I wanted to'', he stepped in and handed her the flowers. ''So this is your place then, very nice, very you'', he stated while walking around, checking out everything until he stopped at her scaffold and the canvases. ''Wow these are amazing ! I think you've gotten even better over the years''. ''Oh that, yeah I haven't been painting in some time though. '', she explained while putting the flowers in to a vase that was slightly too small, so she separated the bunch and filled two vases with it. ''Why did you stop ? I mean you're terrific'', he asked with a puzzled look on his face since he had always supported her passion for art and had even asked his wealthy parents if they were interested in showing some of her paintings to their wealthy and snobby friends. That was a big step for A.J. because the relation with his family had always been complicated due to the path the youngest member had chosen. Asking his parents for that kind of favour had proven Olivia how much he had loved her at the time.

''I just hadn't had much time lately'', she explained as she sat onto the couch. ''A.J. ? We really should talk about this entire… situation'', she started and he turned around at her words to join her. Olivia didn't want to start and since he asked for this meeting he could begin to talk. ''So ? Why did you want to talk ? '', she asked forwardly. A.J. touched his hat, she sensed that he was a little nervous, which was so not him and made her even more anxious about what he was going to tell her.

''Listen I'm sorry I behaved this way, I know you love him but I couldn't stop myself from being close to you and I love being around you again, I truly missed you and the other night in Jake's club I had the feeling you missed me too'', he explained and Olivia was stunned, she hadn't thought he would be this honest, it seemed he had grown up too even though not completely yet. ''What happened at Jake's wasn't any sign of me missing you A.J., I don't know why I slept with you but the only thing I know is that it was a huge mistake'', she wouldn't tell him that she had enjoyed it way too much, she knew that if he had the slightest hope he wouldn't give her a rest. ''Oh and that's why you invited me to your place instead of John's, don't tell me you don't like being alone with me and don't tell me you get that sparkling sensation every time I look at you and every time I touch you'', A.J.'s voice was a tempting whisper, his eyes were mesmerizing as he sat closer to her. ''A.J. I thought you would understand it if I told you quietly from face to face that this cannot happen, us, it won't work anymore. We're not good for each other and I don't like the person I become around you'', she said trying to focus on anything but the weak feeling in her knees. ''I've changed and so have you and maybe this time it will work so much better. We had great times together you can't deny that Frixie'', he reached for her cheek and she held on to his hand. ''I can't'', Olivia's voice was just a light whisper, the huge lump in her throat wouldn't let the sounds come out. When A.J. leaned in to kiss her she didn't know what to do at first : his face was only seconds away from hers and she could either give in and feel gloriously for an hour maybe two and then when reality would hit her, there was no way she would be able to look at herself again. She jumped up and ran towards the window with A.J. totally confused, yet he wouldn't give up this easily. He had loved her for many years and even when they were apart he hadn't stopped thinking about her and he couldn't let her end up with John who couldn't appreciate her entirely. A.J. walked in her direction putting both of his hands on her shoulders. ''I don't want to make your life difficult but I… I can't help it Olivia ! '', he whispered into her right ear. Olivia didn't say a word, she just kept looking out of the window but she wasn't seeing anything she was just paying attention to his hands and the breath that hit her ear like a soft breeze. He let one slid down and rest on her waist but that was too much, she flipped around to face him and his soft face that was smiling at her. ''I don't know what to do ? You're turning me into something I no longer am'', she walked passed him, not able to stand the closeness. The apartment seemed to become smaller and smaller and she was on the point of running away her rising heartbeat numbing her slowly. ''I think you should leave A.J. before…'', ''Before what ? '', he asked calmly. ''Before I make another terrible mistake'', she answered but A.J. wouldn't back off, he grabbed her gently and kissed her. Olivia pushed him away and felt the tears rising. They were tears of powerlessness. When she tried to put her hands up to her face he grabbed them and put them around his neck and hugged her tightly. ''I still love you'', he breathed. She couldn't resist him any longer, the familiar feeling of them being together was too soothing, too beautiful and when she looked up she gave in and kissed him longingly. A.J. picked her up and headed for the bed by the window. He layed her down and stroke her cheek, it was what he had wanted, both of them reunited again, in love not in lust. Olivia's mind seemed to be locked inside a box guarded by her heart. The bond between them hadn't died over the years and she still couldn't say no to him. A.J. was the man that made her heart beat fast, maybe even too fast. He got in between her legs and started kissing her neck while trying to undo her white blouse. Olivia felt like floating and grabbed his hair tightly, pulling his face close to hers again.

When he layed next to her she couldn't believe the intensity of their love making. She was still out of breath and completely overwhelmed at the entire situation. A.J. looked at her and was absolutely happy, lying there and holding her in his arms again and she kissed him once more before putting her head on his chest to listen to his uneven heartbeat. As her own heart calmed down, the lock on the box of her mind was suddenly coming undone and John's face was about to appear in front of her inner eye, when A.J. got back on top of her once more.


	5. 5

A.J. woke up to the soft sensation of air entering the room and reaching his naked chest but he chose not to open his eyes just yet, trying to find Olivia's body with his hands. The absence of her body forced him to take a look around but she was nowhere to be found until he saw the closed bathroom door and the steam escaping under it. He got up and tiptoed across the room to open the door carefully in order to surprise her but he was not expecting what he found inside the room : Olivia was lying in the bathtub, staring at the wall with a cigarette in her hand not moving, just breathing like she barely even knew she was still alive.

''Olivia ? what's wrong ? Are you okay ? ''

A.J. was really worried, this was nothing like her just sitting there with the most blank look on her face, it disturbed him in some kind of way. She just looked up with a tired smile,

''Yeah ! I'm fine'',her voice was nothing but a mere whisper,

''It's just a lot to process you know ! Us, this, John, I mean'', she took a drag from her cigarette, '

'I just don't know what I've gotten myself into. I thought I was a grown-up now but apparently I'm still the stupid child that fell in love with you''.

Her eyes were almost closed, she was so tired, tired of her own behaviour, of the fact that she had messed up after this perfect time with John, she had managed to betray him. A tear ran down her face but she quickly wiped it away so A.J. would not want to comfort her, she could not stand the idea of him caring for her now, she did not deserve any kind of care, of affection. And there was the feeling again, the wish to vanish into thin air, turn into dust and let the wind blow you away into a hundred different directions in order to dissolve the pain into the tiniest bits so it would be gone forever. A.J. reached down to her but she immediately got up, although she felt this numb, grabbing a towel.

''Olivia ! Talk to me ! '', A.J. did not know what to do nor what to say, he thought she would chose him now after last night, after her body had given in to him he had assumed her heart would have too but this state she was in now was completely confusing and to some extent frightening him.

''What do you want me to say ? '', she stood in front of him, staring into his eyes, her breath grazing over his throat and face. '

'I don't know what to say ! Do you understand that ? Every word hurts and I am trying my best to not scream right now and trash this place, do you understand that ? I'm about to freak out ! '', her voice was rising and her eyes widened. ''What the hell is going on''.

A.J. could not believe her words, this was so unlike her, was it his fault that she had become this messed up, this angry ? The idea that he would really destroy a relationship was not bothering him so much, after all she was his girl and not John's, but he did not want her to be destroyed along the path. Olivia ran for and backwards in the apartement as if she was looking for something that was not traceable, when he reached out for her.

''Stop this now ! Don't be like this ! All of what has happened was supposed to make the both of us happy and make you realise that you're better off with me than him and not turn you into a crazy bitch ! ''

His grip was tight when he held her by her arms.

''Oh really ! You think that I'm anywhere only remotely near to happy ? I told you that I have changed and that I'm no longer putting up with your crap ! Okay I've slept with you-big mistake ! But don't think you can corrupt me with sex or your apparent love or anything ! You mess me up every time and every time you do it differently in order for me to hit rock bottom each and every fucking time ! I'm through with this ! ''

A.J. was shocked at her outburst, she really thought he just wanted to make her suffer and take away her happiness, this had to be a bad joke.

''I loved you and ì still do but if you think I'm only out to fuck with your head and destroy your 'relationship' I think you don't know me after all'' he said while letting go of her but this time she held on to him with an iron grip.

''Don't you dare turn this into one of your little guilt trips, We're poisonous together ! Don't you get it ? We are the worst thing that could have ever happened to each other ! If it weren't for me you would still have a family ! We mess up everything together and I just don't want to suffer anymore ! Do you want to, is any of this actual pleasing you ? You think you love me but you just love the idea of me and I always loved the idea of us but that is just not gonna happen''.

Olivia was now red from excitement and her heart was thumping in her ears and the big lump in her throat was slowly growing, threatening to suffocate her. A.J. was in awe ; she wasn't the girl she was when he had met her, even though that feisty one flickered through her facade once in a while.

''Wow ! I hadn't expected shit like that ! '', he breathed out. ''I simply and literally don't know what to say ! ''

''Then don't say anything'', she whispered.


	6. I write sins not tragedies

Olivia had sent A.J. away, she needed to think, to clear her head and figure a way out of this mess. Even though he had protested, she had convinced him that it would be better for the both of them if she had some space, after all they would probably see each other sooner than later.

She sat on her bed looking around her, without truly paying attention to anything, she still hadn't managed to get dressed and she was now slightly trembling with just the towel around her body.

But it wasn't just the temperature that caused the cold sensation, she was trying hardly not to burst out in tears and that fact made it even tougher, she had never been a whiny person and the only times she had been truly crying was over her break-up with A.J. and it was then when she promised herself that she would never be in that state again, it had been way too much for her to handle and getting over him was one of the most difficult things she had to do.

And now she knew she was about to become this tortured mess again unless she took matters into her hands, got up and sucked it up. Crying was not going to solve any of this -that she had learned from their agonizing separation. Olivia looked up as if to make the tears run the other way back inside her and let out a deep breath.

''Pull yourself together !'' she ordered before getting up walking towards her closet to finally put on some clothes when there was a knocking on the door. Her heart jumped at the sound and she prayed to heavens this was not who she thought it was and for an instant the idea of simply not answering the door came to her mind but the second, more forceful knocking, changed it.

''You have got to be kidding me !'', she breathed out desperately when she saw A.J.'s face.

''Take it easy ! I just forgot my keys, I think they fell out of my jacket or something'', his voice was low, he looked horrible, their discussion must have hit him harder than she had imagined and even though she did not want to, she felt sorry for him, she felt like hurting every one with every move she made.

''Come in'', she said while stepping out of the way. He did not care to say anything, which she was thankful for, he just proceeded looking for his keys. Olivia stood by the window, watching him and his slow, silent movements, the sad look not fading, she decided to break the silence.

''Are you alright ? I know I was a bit harsh earlier but…''

''A bit harsh ? You basically told me I was wrecking your life and called me poisonous, I think harsh does not really cover it'', he answered.

''I know, I mean… Oh hell'', she was not sure what she could say without hurting him more, this was just twisted, how could she make everything right again, she was clearly still feeling something for A.J. but she couldn't do that to John whom she loved honestly, or maybe she didn't after all. If you love someone you would not make them suffer in any kind of way right ?

''I'm such a horrible person A.J. I cannot believe I'm actually treating the both of you this way, what kind of an asshole does shit like this ?'', she looked at him shaking her head.

''Don't give yourself all the credit I had my share in this but I mean, you can't deny there's still something between us right ? I know I shouldn't have come on to you like this but…''

He got interrupted by an other knocking and Olivia's eyes widened in horror it had to be John, fate was punishing her right there and then, there was no chance that she could get through with such a betrayal.

''Holy shit, just hide in the bathroom will you'', she whispered while her pulse was rising and A.J. did has he was told, he didn't want her to get into any more trouble and if there was the tiniest chance of them getting back together he would not want to ruin that.

Olivia rushed to the door, taking a deep breath before opening and of course it was a widely smiling John waiting outside with a single red rose.

''Hey babe !',he stepped inside kissing her lightly on the cheek and gave her the flower.

''You never called, is anything the matter ?'', he sounded concerned and that made her heart break even more.

''No I just, I had to figure out some stuff'', she said.

''What kind of stuff ?'', he looked at her and realised that she looked kind of exhausted and was pale too and knew he had never seen her like that.

''If there's anything wrong just tell me, we can figure things out together right ?''

Olivia inhaled deeply she could not imagine what he would do if she told him and the idea of the way he would see her in this whole different light, she could not bare the thought, but then A.J. came to her mind and the way he made her feel, like she was all in his world, like the most important thing ever.

She just shook her head looking at the rose.

''I think it would be better if I didn't work the job you guys planned, I think it's not good for us to be in this together, I just feel it won't do our relationship any good''.

John looked at her confusedly.

''What do you mean ? You know that I won't have much time for us once we get really started and I thought you were thrilled about working with the old crew…'', suddenly the look on John's face changed from confused to something different and he took a step towards her.

''It's about him right ?''his eyes sparkled darkly. A.J.'s pulse started racing when he heard what John had just said.

''What ? No ! I mean to some extent yes but mostly no'', she stuttered.

''Did he say something or did anything happen ?'', John sounded angry and Olivia knew she had to calm him down or this would end badly for the three of them.

''No John ! Don't be so paranoid'', she felt her stomach twist and turn as she was lying straight into his face, his kind face that was always a joy to wake up to each and every morning since their wonderful relationship had started.

''I really don't understand the problem then ! It's a big job Liv come on this is important for me''

Work was the most important thing to John and this was, again, a proof of his obsession with it.

''Fine then if it's that important I'm in'', she sighed.

''That's my girl ! So I gotta meet with Jake but how about dinner tonight ? I'll cook for you and then you're gonna stay over right ?'', he asked with a tempting smile and Olivia forced herself to grin even though she knew he tried to please her.

''I'd love some dinner''.

He leaned in to kiss her and A.J. popped into her head and how he must feel about the entire situation. She kissed John quickly.

''Now get outta here I got stuff to do'', she tried to sound cheerful.

''I'll see you tonight and I love you Liv'', the words burned inside her chest.

'I love you too''.

When he heard the door close he stepped out of the bathroom to see her desperate expression.

''What am I gonna do ?''

A.J. knew he couldn't say the right thing at this moment but he had to try.

''Listen Olivia, I'm not gonna force you to pick either one of us I don't have the right to do that and I'm not gonna tell John, I just want you to know that I love you and that I'm here for you and I just want you to be happy but I think you know that you've never been as happy as you were with me''.

She looked at him and realised he was right; it had been the happiest time of her life, the sickest one too but definitely the happiness had been dominating.

Her heart was still skipping a beat at the mere sight of him, something that had never happened with John.

A.J. looked at her puzzeled face and decided to leave her, he was obviously not making her feel any better but as he walked to the door he simply could not fight who he was and pulled her towards him to an apparent last kiss that felt a lot like goodbye to one of them.


	7. Folie à deux

The evening with John had been nice, yeah right ''nice'' was the only word she could think of. He had truly managed to make her forget what she had done, not entirely of course but she hadn't felt awful in his presence for once.

Olivia was enjoying a dip in the pool at John's, glad that she had some time to herself, swimming was always relaxing her, giving the opportunity to cool down.

''Hey'', she turned around at the sound if John's voice.

''Oh ! I didn't hear you get back, everything okay ?''

''Yeah sure just had to pick up Gordon from the doc's''

Olivia was surprised at his revelation : ''Crap ! Is he alright ?''

''He's fine don't worry but would you not talk to him about it he made me promise not to tell anyone.'', John's tone wasn't really concerned.

''Well if nothing's wrong why can't you talk about it ?''

John sighed, ''Jeez Liv ! He has his reasons you must have got stuff too you don't want anyone to talk about right ?'', she was offended by the way he spoke to her, as if he was talking to a brainless moron.

''Right !'', she just replied before diving under again. ''If you only knew'', she thought under water.

''You wanna go out tonight ?'', he asked while she was getting dressed.

''Sure any thing special in mind ?'', she was glad he wanted to spend some time alone, even though the other night hasn't exactly been fireworks.

''How about dinner and then drink's at Jake's, Gordon said he wanted to talk to me.''

In her mind she rolled her eyes combined with a sigh : of course this had to be about work again there was no way something different would be on the agenda.

What was bugging her the most was the fact that he didn't pay attention to the fact he was slowly getting on her nerves by taking her for granted. She even thought that if he wasn't that much into work he might have already realised what was going on between her and A.J..

''Great idea'', she faked a smile and when he came closer to hug her she just slipped out of reach and walked past him in a smooth and all natural move.

''Really need to dry my hair'', she winked and he didn't realise how off this whole scene just had been.

John had spend the entire dinner boring her with further details of the upcoming heist she had missed while she had stayed at her place. In all of his eagerness he missed Olivia drinking way too much wine. When they arrived at the club she couldn't stand him talking about anything work-related anymore maybe due to her little buzz but mostly because he was just plain annoying by now.

They both said hi to Jake and as soon as John was engaged in a conversation, Olivia took the opportunity to get some alone time. As she walked up the stairs she didn't realise the attention she was drawing to herself in her beautiful scarlet dress, all she wanted was some space and maybe another drink at that stage maybe even a cigarette. She headed straight to the bar.

''Vodka on the rocks please, oh and Marcus would you mind if I asked you for a cigarette ?'', she grinned joyously.

''There you go miss'', and after lighting up the smoke and the first drag she finally came down a little bit and could breathe deeply and enjoy the gloriousness of being alone for a few instants.

Even if John would catch her now, she wouldn't give a damn thing about it.

She scanned the room sipping her drink when her gaze rested on the familiar sight of a hat but it wasn't just that what had some familiarity, the person with the hat was dancing rather provocatively with a blonde woman making unnecessary vulgar faces in order to entice the man.

''What the hell ?'', she whispered in some kind of trance though the blood was starting to boil inside of her.

A.J. seemed to have a lovely time with that cheap looking slut, but then again who was she to call anyone a slut since she was just a few feet away from where she and him had been screwing like horny teenagers.

Olivia downed her drink and ordered another one. Whether it was the alcohol or just the frustration, she was on the verge of going over there and slapping the both of them across their glowing faces. The anger was rising steadily and she felt kind of weak at the same time, not sure what to do but what she knew was that she had to stop staring at them like some obsessed stalker.

''Marcus ? Could I get another cigarette please ? And by the way do you know that blonde over there dry-humping A.J.'', damn that sounded a little more jealous than actually needed but as expected Marcus didn't get the hint.

''No idea but they have been going on for some time'', the bartender explained while mixing a drink.

She sat down at the bat, observing A.J. wasn't doing her any good after all he was free to do what he wanted he had no obligation towards her but seeing him with another woman was actually hurting her but then again the alcohol probably worsened her perception of her feelings.

When she put the glass down she realised how drunk she was by then and climbing off the chair it hit her even harder.

''Perfect !'', she said to herself as she put a hand to her forehead as if she had to steady her swimming head. As she took some deep breaths she suddenly felt two hands on her bare shoulders holding her in place.

''Are you alright ?'', she could hear the concern in A.J.'s voice, causing her to smile at first but the anger dominated her state.

''Yeah yeah ! I don't need your help'', she shook off his hands and he grinned at her movements which were clearly revealing that she wasn't exactly sober anymore.

''I see that ! Come on you're totally wasted you're making that face again'', he joked.

''What face ?'', she didn't know what he was referring to and the fact that he was mocking her didn't help to enlighten her sour mood.

''Your drunk-ass face come on I know how you look when you had one too many.''

''I'm glad I'm amusing you but why don't you just go back to your date and let me enjoy myself ?''

''What ? Oh please like I could care less about her ! I was just…''

''Yeah whatever A.J. you can do whatever or whoever you want to pal !'', she slapped his arm in a playful manner before trying to walk away but it didn't really work out because she almost stumbled over her own feet and A.J. had the immediate reflex to hold on to her arm.

''Come with me you need some air'', he said with a firm voice.

On the terrace it hit her how drunk she really was.

''So are you here all by yourself or…'', she looked at him in disbelief at what he had just suggested.

''Right ! Listen about the girl inside…''

''I don't know what I was talking about like I said you're a free man'', she realised she wasn't speaking all too clearly but he didn't seem to mind.

'' I mean you know I love you but you can't expect me to lock myself inside a room and wait for you to make up your mind.''

He was absolutely right and she knew it.

''I don't know what I want man I just so drunk'', she shook her head forcing a smile.

''Yeah I know'', he grinned.

''I just got so jealous of her and since when are you into blondes anyway ?''

''I'm not into them I was just dancing'', he corrected walking a bit closer to her.

''I'm sorry I guess I haven't been out in a long time that is what is considered dancing !''

''You won't let this go will you ?'' A.J. reached for his lighter and lit a cigarette which she took out of his mouth after his first drag.

''So does he know you're smoking again ?''

''Well I guess if he doesn't know about us he doesn't know about the smoking'', she said still buzzed.

''And what about us ?'', he teased her.

Olivia looked down, her heart racing and she felt her entire face flushing and when she met he gaze there was this invisible force pushing her to reach up and kiss his perfect and full lips and he automatically went with it, resting his hands on her waist.

The familiar feeling of completeness was rushing over her : this was how it was supposed to be and no other way. Although she thought she had to go back inside after all John might be looking for her and trying to explain anything in this state would end in tears and screaming.

They headed to the bar and A.J. ordered her a glass of water. The music was too loud to hear one's own voice so she had to lean in.

''You got lipstick on you face'', she laughed and he desperately tried to get rid of it, a sign that he wasn't just fooling around so they would get caught, he wanted to get back together properly with no one's feelings getting hurt.

Olivia couldn't stop laughing at his movements but got serious again fastly.

''I'm gonna break up with John'', she said all of a sudden.


	8. Alone together

_FLASHBACK_

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?"

A.J.'s voice trembled with anger. Olivia's head was throbbing, she wasn't exactly in the mood to be yelled at. She closed the doors behind her and let her bag drop to the floor. He looked at her in awe, she was still totally wasted and it was 11 o'clock in the morning.

"Take it easy!" she whispered while hugging herself before reaching down again to grab her purse, all she wanted was a cigarette. Olivia walked passed A.J. and sat on the couch.

"So?" He was getting more annoyed by her every move by the minute.

She lit up her cigarette with trembling fingers, she had partied a little harder than she had intended to but then again it had been a great night even without A.J. and after all he had decided to leave that early. She took a deep breath before looking at him in a disconnected way.

"What?" Her voice was emotionless, not cold but A.J. could not stand the way it sounded to him, this was nothing like her.

"I asked you where you were the entire night? And why didn't you bother to pick up when I called?"

Olivia looked at her legs, it was only then she realized the hole in her tights; she could not even remember when it had happened.

"I was busy what do you think that I'm constantly looking at my phone waiting for your highness to call me? I mean please A.J. for once that it is this way round and it isn't me waiting for you all night. At least I have the decency to take a cab and not drive and crash my goddamn car."

She was on edge, probably the hangover was starting to kick in and she could not stand his "concern" he had pissed her off enough last night.

"Wow you are unbelievable! Is this your way of getting back at me? I told you I was sorry and that I wouldn't do that anymore."

Fighting with Olivia was killing him but it was part of their routine now for some time and he knew it was mostly his fault, he had disappointed her too many times and had even dragged her into some pretty serious trouble but she never, not even once had questioned him until the night he had the car accident. After another argument with his father A.J. had hit the bottle a little too hard, picked up one of his friends' girl and they crashed with another car. Luckily they both just had minor injuries but Olivia had rushed to the hospital and had found him with her and he was too drunk to remember what had happened. He had apologized countless times but it was not the same after that evening. She stayed with him. She loved him too much to just leave and knew that it wasn't because of her but because of his troubled mind. But there were small cracks in their relationship and though she tried to deny it she was in some kind of way waiting to get back at him. Olivia was not a vengeful person but her pride and feelings had been hurt by the man she loved and she could not forgive him easily. The unimaginable fear when the hospital called she had never felt that kind of gut wrenching distress and she never wanted to be in a comparable situation.

"Just let me be! I'm not in the mood! I'm gonna take a shower and go to work."

Olivia put out her cigarette and brushed passed the surprised A.J., he had expected some big fight, screaming, yelling at least a couple of insults but she was giving him the silent treatment which was bugging him even more. He thought it might have been due to the lack of sleep but then again Olivia could be as tired as she wanted if she wanted to fight, she would.

"Oh come on Liv! What the hell is wrong with you? Aren't you even gonna fight with me?"

He tried the funny approach, believing that he could resolve any problem with his charm.

"Your voice is burning a hole into my brain would you please just stop talking?!"she stood in front of him stripping out of her dress, letting it fall onto the ground. He looked at her in awe this was nothing like her. Olivia tiptoed to the kitchen to make some coffee and putting her hair up into a messy bun while A.J. stood frozen in the living room not knowing what to do and that never happened to him.

After her shower Olivia felt reborn but she was still angry and a little hung over but at least she had washed off last night. It had been a little too much, too much booze, too many conversations with strangers just following her instincts not thinking about anything. It had been to some extent freeing but she realized that something was missing in her life and partying was not the answer to her question, when the problem was somewhere else.

She came out of the bathroom and saw him lying on the couch with his headphones on, drifted away. Olivia could not help herself but smile a little, the peacefulness of the image was just too perfect, he was perfect for his face was completely relaxed he looked like a little boy who did not have a worry in the world. She wrapped the towel tighter around herself feeling a little chilly.

"He will be the death of me."

The words rang in her ears but at the same time she knew he was the only one that had made her feel that special, even if it was somewhat fading now.

She got herself a cup of coffee and sat opposite of him onto the couch, careful not to wake the sleeping prince. Olivia lit another cigarette and grabbed a notebook that was lying on the table. She started sketching A.J. it was too much of a perfect moment for her to waste and furthermore she had never had the opportunity because he never wanted her too.

With a few quick pen strokes she captured his very essence on the paper and realized how beautiful he was to her, not just handsome like most men he was a thing of beauty. It pained her that on the inside he had to fight so many ugly demons and they were taking over. A tear ran down her face and surprisingly she did not even know why.

A.J. opened his eyes and met hers; they were warm now something had calmed her down.

"I had a dream about you", he whispered with a sleep-filled, raspy voice.

"Don't tell me! I bet it was lovely." She smiled at him before reaching over to brush her hand against his cheek and his confused look added even more to what she felt.

"I love you! Don't say anything! I just want you to know."

Olivia's voice was a mere whisper, she did not dare to invade the wholeness of that moment she knew it would haunt her for many years.

The change that was inevitable was almost tangible for Olivia and she wanted to cherish his innocence and her love for him as long as they still existed for she knew this would and could not last and this knowledge was terrifying.


End file.
